Capture the uncapturable
by Looney Lexy
Summary: At the age of twenty-nine Hermione Granger works as a bounty hunter, for the slimy Draco Malfoy. Her new assignment is to capture the uncapturable, Ron Weasley, a notorious womanizer, accused murderer and a man from Hermione’s past.


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This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. This story is based on Janet Evanovich's One for the Money, which you would all like. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

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There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Ronald Weasley did this to me-- not forever, but periodically. Yes, that handsome red-haired Weasley was still screwing up my life. We had a long and turbulent history together. On our last day at Hogwarts the 'Weasley womanizer' swept me off my feet for a single night…er…it was less than that actually. I never really heard from him since, but once in Muggle London, six months after we left Hogwarts, I saw him crossing the street. I promptly speed up, ran over him, stopped the car and got out to inspect the damage. 

"Anything broken?" 

He was sprawled on the pavement, looking up my short kilt. "My leg." 

"Good." I smirked. Then I turned on my heel, got into my Mini, and drove to the shopping precinct. 

I attribute the incident to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anybody since.

After Hogwarts I started a book store company, Hermione's Bookshelf. But the economy took a turn for the worst and Hermione's Bookshelf fell apart.  Now at twenty-nine, I was working for Draco Malfoy's Bond Company.  Draco was still a scumbag but at least he was on the good side now. Just like in the Muggle world Wizards had to pay bond in order not to go to Azkaban while awaiting trial. Draco posts their bond. If they fail to show for their court day we were responsible for dragging them back or Draco would lose his money. What a shame that would be. Anyway I worked as a bounty hunter. Basically I was responsible for dragging the to-be-felons in. If I was successful I would receive 10 percent of the bond. 

Now…getting back to the other scumbag in my life. 

Eleven years later, Ron Weasley was still regrettably popping in an out of my life. He'd grown up big and bad. With eyes like blue sea and hair like fire, he made women, both pureblood and muggleblood, swoon. Ron had a reputation for having fast hands and clever fingers. Mothers all over the United Kingdom have unsuccessfully tried to keep their daughters away from the hunky fair-skinned Casanova. He was a successful Auror with a temper that matched his red hair. That temper got him in trouble. A lot of trouble. 

"What…I can't do this, Malfoy!" I searched for something, anything to throw at him. "Why did you even write him bail?" 

"Local. Good kid. Good References. Lots of family around here. Good line of income." Draco's eyes were on my chest. 

"Oh…," I waved my hand in his line of vision to get his attention, "and the fact that he's an accused murdered didn't factor in your decision to post him bail?"

Draco's eyes were meeting mine. For once. 

"Hermione, what it's to you?" Draco smirked. "I know that you were good friends at Hogwarts but that was ages ago." 

"I once sold him a book." I was now hiding my red face in Ron Weasley's file. 

Draco laughed as he pushed his greasy blonde hair back from his face. 

"Every woman in Britain probably sold him a book." He sneered. _Probably jealous of Ron, _I thought. Draco, too, was also a legendary womanizer and also manizer, well …er…let's make that he-would-shag-anything-that-moves-izer. Then again I'm not entirely sure that he's not a necrophilia. And I'm quite sure that I don't want to find out. There were lewd rumors of him and a bunch of barn animals. And yet the man was married, for Christ sake. To Pansy Parkinson. But don't worry she was well compensated.    

"Besides why don't you give the case to Harry?" Yes, Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived. He actually quit being an Auror a few years ago and now he worked for Draco. Go figure. He usually did the murder cases while I usually did the smaller cases. Going after murderers didn't leave me a lot spare time for reading. 

"He's out of the country at the moment. So I'm afraid that it has to be you." Draco was leaning back in his chair. I knew that he was really going to enjoy this one by the way he was smirking.

"ARG." I turned on my heel and slammed his office door. I could still feel his eyes leering on me.    

"Bothering you, that scum, is he?" Blaise Zabini was stomping around the office. 

"Blaise, what's wrong?" Blaise was Draco's assistant. Hey, at least the money was good. 

"You know Jane, the new clerk that we hired?"

"Yeah," I looked around the office, "Where's Jane?"

"The dirt bag saw her in bent over the filing cabinet and he tried to play hide the broomstick with her."

"Ewwwww!"

"The poor girl ran out screaming. That's the fourth clerk in two months. And I have to do all the filing and research."

"Maybe we should take up a collection and get Draco neutered." 

Blaise pointed her wand at one of her quills and shouted _"Spiculum__."  The quill became a very long sharp knife. "Maybe we should do it ourselves," she said with a lethal look in her eyes. I can understand why the sorting hat put her in Slytherin. _

The phone rang interrupting us. Blaise answered it and threw the knife in her middle drawer. I went searching for the Weasleys' files. I took all of them and left the office before the blood bath began.  I walked to my old Mini I tried to get over the shock about Ron. I knew that he had killed someone in the line of duty a few months ago. But I hadn't known that he had been charge with murder. Probably the Ministry had been trying to keep it quiet. I sat down in the driver's seat and looked a Ron's file. He was still unbelievably attractive with those bedroom eyes that could seduce any woman. He was even sexier that I remembered. I looked at his address and checked my bag. Gun. Wand. Stun Gun. Handcuffs. That should be enough armor.   

**_To be continued….._**


End file.
